The Rest of Getting Mentoring Right

Last post, we were outlining what makes a good mentor a great one. So if you haven't read through that, please do so and then continue on here.

In addition to genuine caring, not judging intentions, focusing on strengths, and treating persons individually, I will add four more.

Understand that mentoring is a longer haul than shorter. Neither person should expect instant results. Certainly we have every right to expect all the good things, increased confidence, courage to change, maturity, patience, as well as decisiveness. Good things most often take time, though, and trying to hurry the process will harm rather than help. Patience, patience, patience.

Did you notice the key word I sneaked in? How about process? Mentoring is a process, and that is the next important thing to remember. A process to me means there is an overall plan without a foregone conclusion. It is something better discovered rather than pursued. A process also draws on other situations, people, and things. It can become complicated, but also can provide incredible growth, if accepted.

The next requirement is the mentoree doesn't have to like this process, and in fact may dislike it, but the Mentor must enjoy it. Yes, all of us are capable of performing tasks we don't really care to, but if a mentor attempts to give of himself without at least a sense of accomplishment, it won't come across as well and fact will most likely eventually fail.

Finally, the mentor must, has to be, completely honest. Notice I didn't say "brutally honest"! One thing I always have stressed, to the folks I've had the privilege to work with, is that constructive criticism is a gift. We certainly must be caring and give our thoughts in a way that the person can accept, without mincing words. They must "get it". The watchword phrase, though, is "don't break the spirit".

Mentoring is something I dearly love, and I've been told I do it well. Those may be kind words, but for better or worse, they will be the final judge of any one's efforts: what do your people say of you?