Executives & Fierce conversations

Many of us have read the best seller by Susan Scott, "Fierce Conversations". For those of you that haven't, Fierce Conversations are communication to one another that is honest and to the point, while being professional and even caring. The idea is that growth, and even change, will result when we constructively criticize each other with the other's welfare, not necessarily ours, in mind.

This is a book I have used extensively in my work, and also with my children. They all have copies (from me :) ) , and we sometimes make reference to it as a family. As their dad, I enjoy a position of respect with them, as well as being loved as a father. This can come with a downside tho', if we don't understand the dynamics.

One of the most special things I admire about them is that they tell dad what he needs to hear, not always what he wants to hear. Of course there are times when what results is stressful, but generally, even if so, it is a growth experience. In this way, I've purposely reversed roles with them; they now have a chance to "bring up dad" and help him grow.

As a corporate executive, I similarly feel I need to question whether I am being told WHAT I want to hear or what I NEED to hear. Let's examine the implications.

It is easy for an executive to lose touch with what is going on out on the shop floor, or in the meeting rooms & offices throughout the organization. The tendency is to rely on a close group of confidants, persons whom one trusts, respects, and/or admires. If they feel the same, or worse yet are fearful of the executive, this can result in them telling her what they THINK she wants, rather than the reality.

A form of myopia, where we see things as we want them to be instead of are, can result. Morale suffers, flawed decisions are made, and results plummet.

To avoid this, the executive must be approachable, a good listener without over reacting, and one who avoids blame.

Have you rated yourself lately on these skills? Are your associates, especially your reports, comfortable with calling you on mistakes, or things that should be improved? Are you really comfortable with Fierce Conversations?