Rules of Negotiation

As a member of TEC/EA, I have access to several talented speakers and writers. Recently I came across an article on negotiation by Douglas Gilliss that was simple and yet profound. I'd like to carry what he said a bit further for today's post. Gilliss maintains that there are 5 rules: I will comment on them, and add a few more.

They are: 1) Don't negotiate against yourself. This means giving away services or things (free shipping or, we'll paint the upstairs bedrooms) without knowing if the other party cares about them.

My first add: 6) Do your homework. So many times we enter a deal hurriedly without learning what the others want from the transaction. This is a key point; how can we give and take effectively without knowing what they REALLY want? Use the Internet, know how their business is going, talk to your broker.

2) Offer a choice. Excellent point, and hopefully of two positives. It also gives the other person more of a feeling of control.

3) Never prove the other person wrong. Again, basic human dynamics. We risk winning the point and losing the deal.

4) The never, never rule. Here are more fundamentals; don't ever give something up without getting something in return. He makes a good point that when things are traded, they should be equal in value. And I would add, not emotionally based.

This inspires my second add: 7) Never, never let the other party "know". What you value most, what you are emotionally tied to, or what your bottom line is. are all things you may be willing to give concessions to get. If the other party knows they will play you like a fiddle to get overcompensated for them.

5) The business you turn down determines your bottom line profits. This means walking away. It is an extremely powerful action, and can be so without being caustic, especially when done in a matter of fact way. When you say, in essence, this has gone too far for me to realize the minimum I need to have, they see you beyond your bottom line. The next move is theirs.

I will leave you with my final, and probably most important add: 8) Determine the personality style of the other party. If she is a headline person, she will not want data and details. If he is a contrarian, he will see the downside in everything. If he is reserved, he won't appreciate your demonstrative outbursts. This is basic sales stuff, but nowhere is it more crucial to use than in negotiating. Know your audience and give it to them the way they want it. They'll be more comfortable with you, which usually means a good outcome.

Good luck and good negotiating!